Twenty Years

When you look back and realize its been twenty years. Twenty years of being blessed with life, with all its emotional roller coaster rides, the uphill battles, out of control downhills, the detours, and spins that often get thrown at us without warning, such as the day when I found out, I had breast cancer, twenty years ago. It was a feeling like I never experienced before, almost like someone reached deep into my soul, and pulled my heart out. Time stood still that day. I would spend the next couple of days, laying in my bed, curtains closed, wondering how I was going to handle life. The question, in my mind repeated itself many times. Will I have the opportunity to grow old, enjoy time with my family, my loving husband, 10 year old son, and my dear elderly parents? At that point I learned how fragile life can really be. I had no control in it.

My mother had just overcome her battle with stage four, breast cancer and became my hero. Her never ending positive attitude would always shine through. Keeping a light heart, in face of her treatments. She faced her fears with the help and love of my father.

I learned to follow in her footsteps, taking on a positive attitude. Each morning I would drive myself to the hospital for the next six months. Six months out of my life, spending time with other cancer patient, some who didn't have the chance to continue with life, as I have been blessed with. Time in the waiting room became a friendly atmosphere with others, sharing jokes, smiles, until one day you look around, and that certain person, was no longer waiting with you in the room. Sadness and tears would hover over us all, but the next day, we would share smiles. Hope appeared once again in our hearts, never giving up on Hope. Fighting cancer, face on, praying for that miracle.

Today, twenty years later, I can enjoy that miracle of life. Giving thanks to God, for helping me stay positive through some of those darker times, for now I look back and see all the blessings that life has to offer. A new little grandson to share smiles with, a life filled with hope and love. So, in celebration of my life, I walked into the hospital gift shop and found a beautiful ceramic mug. Cover with beautiful bright colors, sunflowers and birds. The first thing I thought of was, my dear Mutti. She had loved sunflowers! Loved the sounds from the birds! She was my hero through this time of my life..... and she still is my hero today. Cheers to another year of being cancer free, living and loving life with all its adventures!